Do you perceive life by thinking or by feeling?

3 min readJan 5, 2021

Yesterday I was talking to my friend who was trying to convince me to go to the gym with him.

He used the statement “I think we should go to the gym because they have a sauna.”

He was busy thinking about his obsession with saunas, while I was imagining him using a different statement — “I feel we should go to the gym because they have a sauna.”

And I immediately ran to my computer to do some research, completely ignoring his plea for me to go to the gym with him.

What did I find?

That I failed to go to the sauna and that one question can be more persuasive than the other.

But which is it?

First, the experiment

Nicole D. Mayer and Zakary Tormala of Stanford ran an experiment where participants were presented with the frame “I think,” while others were presented with the frame “I feel.”

More specifically — One group’s message was titled “My Feelings About Blood Donation.” It started with the statement, “I feel that donating blood is one of the most important contributions I can make to society,” and included other statements, like “I feel that blood donation is the most fantastic thing I can do with 30 minutes of my free time.”

The other group’s message was titled “My Thoughts About Blood Donation,” and started with “I think donating blood is one of the most important contributions I can make to society.” It also had other arguments, such as “I think blood donation is the most fantastic thing I can do with 30 minutes of my free time.”

Here’s how it went down.

People who describe themselves as emotional were more persuaded by the feeling message, while people view themselves as cognitive were persuaded by the thinking message.

There is a best time to use the phrase “I think” and “I feel” if you want to be more persuasive, but when is it?

So when should you use “I think” or “I feel”?

That depends on which type of person you are talking to!

Of course, if you followed the above experiment, you know that if you are talking to someone who is more emotional, you would use “I feel” and if you are talking to someone who is more cognitive, you use “I think”.

But it goes even further than that.

In another study, researchers found that there is a gender difference between thinking and feeling.

Women were more persuaded by ads that tapped into their emotions and men were persuaded by ads that used thinking.

Of course, that’s a broad generalization, but if you’ve never talked to someone before it’s better than nothing.

If you have talked to someone before, you’d have a better understanding of whether to use “I think” or “I feel”.

Which are you, thinking or feeling?

According to the Myers & Briggs foundation you know whether you are thinking or feeling based on how you make decisions.

I am thinking

You weigh pros and cons and base your decision on logic.
You are impersonal and use your head and not your heart.
You are task-oriented.
You look for logical solutions to almost everything.

I am feeling

You make decisions based on the points of view and what’s best for people involved.
You are caring and tactful in relationships.
You are likely to use your heart rather than your head.
You are seen as a “people person”.

Now questions!

Do you notice whether you use “I think” or “I feel”?

Are you going to be more aware about which you use?

Leave a comment below and let me know. Is there someone out there who could benefit from this knowledge I dropped on you?